Making Friends After 30

You know, making friends is so easy when you’re a kid. Hey, you live next door to me? Okay, let’s ride bikes and set piles of leaves on fire.

And then, in high school, things get a little more complicated, but it’s essentially the same thing. You find something in common with someone, or a variety of someones, and you’re all in this super close proximity to each other, sweating in the hallways and worrying about if Mrs. Cash Register face is going to call you out in Geometry or whatever,  and it just happens. You bond. Viola. Friends.

Now that I’m 30, I’m realizing it’s harder and harder to make new friends. I love the friends I have of course, but you know, sometimes a girl sees a girl and she’s pretty and maybe said something that sounded cool and I like her haircut and please be my new best friend!

So how do you do it? Twitter I guess. I see that happening a lot around here. Not naming any names you know who you are friend of mine. And there are blog friends. That actually works sometimes (hi Jess!) And then there’s work. But eh, don’t want to get those too too mixed up. There’s the gym. I’m sweaty, you’re sweaty, we both like Turbo Kick. But how do we turn that into Happy Hour or something? I don’t know.

Am I the only one this is hard for? How do you make friends as you get older? Do you just have to be bold? Maybe I just need to get bold.

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2 thoughts on “Making Friends After 30

  1. I’m not quite 30, but I definitely have this problem. If it weren’t for my blog I would have like two friends in Denver. Seriously, I don’t know how people do it other than work, and I don’t have an office so I struggle. Seriously, thank god for my blog. And for you! I feel very lucky about how that worked out.

  2. I think getting out and doing things is the best way to make friends, which can be difficult because many 30 yr olds have a routine that they’ve settled into which might not include much more than work, exercise and “being home” for 2-3 hrs each weeknight. Throughout school you’re forced to attend different classes and interact with people (for group projects, class discussions, etc) which makes it easier to meet people and move into a friendship outside the class room. The more a person goes and participates in activities they enjoy, the greater the chance they’ll meet people they have things in common with (since they’re both doing the same activity). And then doing that activity more than once makes it easier to break the ice since you’ve already made eye contact on several occasions or already partnered up in kick boxing or what have you.

    In the end, though, there’s no avoiding the need for one person to simply ask the other to join them for an activity outside of their shared realm. Asking a kickboxing partner to attend the concert of a band you both enjoy during the workout, for example.

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