Thereâ€™s this one scenario in my mind where everything is easy. Things are in place and moving along smoothly.
Then thereâ€™s this other scenario.
Itâ€™s called reality.
This past weekend was good really. There may have been a minor blowup about whether or not I was helpful in *Loweâ€™s, but aside from that, really fun.
Me: I was so being helpful!
John: You were the complete opposite of helpful! I will kill you.
Letâ€™s just say we never really settled on a winner for that argument.
We did however, paint the nursery. And lament about how weâ€™re spending too much money on everything but weâ€™re powerless to stop it. Who knew a baby could be so expensive?
Everyone? Oh yeah I guess so.
I also got to the gym, got a massage, walked the dog a whole bunch, caught up on Thursday night TV, and got to see good friends. All in all a great weekend. Except for the Loweâ€™s part. I guess I feel fine about it though, because Iâ€™m pretty sure that at least one out of every two couples walking around Loweâ€™s or Home Depot is arguing about something or other.
Anyway, back to my scenarios. I do have these perfect scenarios of life in my mind, but itâ€™s just not working that way somehow.
For instance, I want to write in this blog and have it be a place to chronicle my life and all my thoughts about the world. I canâ€™t help but censor myself a little though, because I know the rents are reading. (Hi mom and dad â€“ see, no F word anywhere in this post!)
I also want this not to become a mommy blog, but Iâ€™m kinda thinking itâ€™s taking that turn. Sorry folks, thatâ€™s whatâ€™s going on in my life. I wish I could take beautiful photos of salted chocolate brownies, but I am too busy reading weird birthing stories from Ina Mayâ€™s Guide to Childbirth.
I want to be one of those active pregnant ladies, the ones who are still going to kickboxing and running 10ks and what not, but it turns out that I need a giant sandwich after just 30 minutes on the elliptical, so thatâ€™s just going to have to do for now.
I want to not get annoyed at that person at work who is doing that thing that Iâ€™m not going to talk about, but man it is annoying me.
I want not to be cryptic but I am.
I want to read the New Yorker like I used to and be informed about my world and not just worry about what vanity will look good in our tiny bathroom.
I want a margarita. A big giant margarita. A good one too, no sweet and sour. All lime juice and salt and tequila.
Oh did this just turn into a list about all the things I want? I guess I could go on and on.
It’s fine though, it is it’s all good. I think thinking about all of the things I want to do really makes me a better person. It makes me strive to do better. Be better. Wanting a margarita makes you a better person right?